Travelling with someone with Alzheimer's

The worst thing about travelling with someone with Alzheimer's is not the disease, it's the fact you have to be with them at all times. No more, if you want to do this and I don't, we'll split up and meet at a certain point at a given time. No, you have to watch them, even in a shop not letting them out of your site. It's exhausting. 

As are the constant questions of what are we doing now, where are we going, and the running commentary of impossible memories.

Meal times become a battle, much like with a 2 year old, what do they want to eat and how much? You find yourself monitoring intake and gently encouraging them to have a couple of forks more. This is no longer a mother daughter relationship. The roles are reversed and now it's the parent that needs monitored and not let out of sight. It's exhausting.

Then there's the medication. Never go anywhere with someone on new medication, especially if a possible side effect is stomach upsets. That, combined with unfamiliar food leads to days of burping, complaining, asking for one specific thing and being generally pathetic. Until you want to scream and shout. Of course you understand, but it's still maddening. It does stop the constant monologue about how they've been here and done all the same things before right down to getting indigestion and going to the same pharmacist. I don't know which is better in all honesty.

So instead of relishing a little bit of quiet time alone at breakfast you sit worrying about them and preparing for the stream of abuse about how selfish, cruel, uncaring you are for not meeting their demands. And worrying that they'll get stressed, leave the room to try and find you and get lost in the process. No rest for the wicked.

The key to minimising tears and tantrums is to lower your voice. Like successful politicians and people in power, a deeper voice conveys authority, doesn't give the impression of being irritated and keeps them calm. A blessing when you normally can't go 5 minutes without tears, or getting called a horrible, selfish person.  You have to let those words wash over you and not take them to heart. Not reacting to the insults or tears is key, otherwise the episodes last longer. Listen to every impossible story, but don't agree or disagree, just let them know you're listening, and be prepared to hear the same story again with different people and set in a different time.